why?! (continued)

i wanna be a drug addict.
i wanna know how it feels like to be high on ecstasy.
why don't i do it? why?!

someone contacted me to deal drugs when i was 15.
the grapevine said i did so.
i wanted to but i didn't.
why didn't i?!

and then i had 500 mg. of heroine in possession.
i also had a tube full of amphetamine and a packet of ketamine.
but i didn't try them.
why didn't i?!

i wanna be a chain smoker.
i want to smoke when i get stressed.
and i think lighters are cool.
but i don't smoke.
why don't i?

i wanna be an alcoholic.
i wanna be high 24-7.
i think this is the most probable one. but no. i am not an alcoholic yet.
why don't i become one?!

i wanna be a school dropout.
i think SCHOOL SUCKS.
then why don't i just stop going to school?
why?!

why don't i do all these?
who do i think i owe?

...my mum...

but why do i think so?

am i just using her as an excuse?

...i don't know...

why? why don't i?!

Ni submitted homework at 4:35 AM

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